So It was a dull weekend. They mostly are, nowadays. I tend not to go anywhere, or see anyone, or anything.Actually thats a lie - most weekends this is what I do ... get up late at about midday, sit on the PC for a bit, go out ot the library, do a couple of charity shops on the local high street, buy a couple of cheap books and magazine freebie cds for about 10p each, go into town, run around MVE and CEX, then come back, go to Iceland abiceland and buy my frozen food for the week, then come home, cook, and have a bath. Read my book for a couple of hours. Watch a DVD, and potter around the detritus of my life - the boxes of crap (such as CDRs I've never filed, and assorted paperwork) I'm too lazy to sort out most days. Or simply too daunted to get around to, because it feels like no matter how much I ever do or how slowly I work, it never EVER gets done.

Actually, I know I moan about being alone a lot of the time, but I sort of like it that way. No one can mess me around if I don't let anyone in. My own little hermetic castle, if you like. The other week, when the new girl stayed, I felt really..hemmed in and crammed by the fact that there was someone here, I could hardly stand it - the fact that there was someone else here. I don't like it. Thats why we almost rowed - I just wanted them to go and leave me alone. I felt until they did that I'd have be some sort of performing clown to keep them interested and entertained, rather than just doing what I wanted to do most. So Thing is, whilst I don't want to be alone, I don't want to actually be around anyone. So If you ever catch me talking about contradictory impulses, thats exactly it.

I don't want to be alone. I just don't want to be with anyone either.Mmm. Not quite sure How I'll fix that one then, i guess.

This new girl, I don't think its going to last. I think its goign to just... fizzle out to nothing. Whilst she's really nice, I just don;t feel the snese of longing and urgency - and there's other unresolved issues in so far that her last boyfriend is still hanging around. In fact, she still hasn't ended it with him, and that makes me very uncomfortable. There's deception going on here, not on my part but on her's towards him, and this is something I dislike. I'm not a nasty person, but I do just get the impression this is just... going nowhere slow.

part of this is probably my mindset. As I was discussing with Rebecca's mother the other day, I can't imagine myself every marrying again. Did it once, that'll teach me, i suppose... Her attitude was 'I'd never get married its a bit of paper and shiny metal and a waste of time..." and that sort of reflects my attitude to a certain extent: no piece of paper or bit of metal can ever say how much you feel about someone. As for my first marriage, well...Whatever the mitigating circumstances of the time, I'll be divorced soon enough. These things take time, even if they run smoothly, which I can't see any problem with, thank God. Last thing any of us would want would be a long, drawn out and difficult divorce.

Last thing i want to end up doing is going around divorcee nights, and 30+ something discos. (Though, Secretly, I want to go at once, just to see just how bad they really, really are.) As for these nights, well - I have this preconception, and I'm pretty certain that I'm right, and the preconception is this : They always play shit music. Utter Shit. Fuck it, if I wanted to listen to UB40 at ear splitting volume, I'd just sit in my kitchen, open the windows, and listen to the neighbours endless stream of R'n'B. Though, If I were to be picky...to me, R'N'B would be stuff like John Lee hooker, Albert King, John Renbourn, Robert Johnson...not that commercial pap that they churn out nowadays to pacify the proles whilst we shop in the hypermarkets for blue neon underlights for our chavmobiles.

Friday night I was in a pub - I had a few pints. Three. About nine o'clock a 'singer' turned up, covering a few oldie standards with a portable PA and some bongo's. (no, it wasn't Matthew McConaghey). it was all quite ignorable untile he did, Stevie Wodner's "Superstitious". A song I know fairly well... and it was the worst version I'd ever heard. Which Sort of summed up everythign I hated about modern music, because the original ahd GROOVE. it had funk. It hadThe the funk of 'Superstitious' comes from its offkilter keyboard part, notes all over the place (Ok, listen to the time signature on it..slightly ff, behidn the beat, 8ths and 16hts all mixed up). Instead what we got was a karoiake version, the drum locked into a pattern like an atomic clock, with no feel...and the ketyboard groove quantized to fuck. Ok, So its technically correct, with all the notes in mathematically and therorectically the correct places, but...its rigid. Funk needs to be fluid. Funk needs to breathe. Funk needs to be natural, not clincially, mathematically, soullessly precise. (Incidentally; 'quantizing' is a real term - it describes a musical process where a machine is programmed to play notes EXACTLY and precisely on the beat in 16th's or 8th's or whatever.I'm with these guys on it, though. linky , and the article on vinyl only seems interesting too.

Anyway, After the third pint, i left the pub, and Went to KFC, I was starving. I went home. I went straight to bed. New Girl said she rang some 9 times ina row that night at about elevn oclock, but I didn't hear the phone go off. Neither was there a missed call message. Oh, well.

Saturday, after I blogged ....I did a spot of shopping. Bought a few DVDs for £2 each. Either I could buy 3 for £20 in HMV or 10 for the same price. No contest really - so it was time for Dylan Moran's stand up one which was released at christmas, Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure (which is tearfully funny, and I love the helen love track on there which is an extra; and not just because it name checks the Ramones), Oasis's There And Then (live 95-96), Michael Moore's "The Big One" documentary, The doublediscer of Spartacus, Bad Santa, Directors Commentary (With Rob Brydon; Which has the most annoying Menus ever, and doesn't give you the option to play the disc in the right order as it says on the insert, ie as originally broadcast; but instead fragments up all the sections of certain shows together by theme). Then I got some food, came home, and watched a couple of them. I stayed up late, reading A Tom Clancy book, listening to Radio4.

On radio 4, there was a interview with soem authors in the week - the radio presenter tried to argue that just becaus epeople read Harry Potter and The DaVinci Code, that people were still able and willing to read 'big' books. Sadly though, that COMPLETELY misses the point.Big books, Small Words; because Its not Big books that are the problem; it's big words. Whilst they are big books in terms of pages and physical size, one only had to look at their marks on the an index of reading legibility to understand that the language within the books are easily understandable by anyone with a reading age of say, 13 or 14 or above. Easily comprehensible, combined with a speedy plot that uses simple words and untaxing words in common usage to be easily accessible and of mass appeal. Neither they, nor the Clancy I'm reading (Red Storm Rising, incidentally) are ever going to confuse people with the plain to the point of banality language.

So, Sunday, I slept until new Girl rang me at one thirty. I got up, and cooked, smashed a glass on the Kitchen floor, tided that up, took the rubbish out...burned some cds, filed some stuff away, emptied a box out of stuff, had an incredibly incredibly satisfying bath, read a bit more, cooked again, listened to the Foo Fighters...and watched 'Primer'. Which for the budget it is filmed on, is incredibly, incredibly good. It reminds me of Philip K Dick - a story set ina perfectly recognisable enviroment of here and now yet loaded down with science fiction concepts such as time travel, casuality, and physics, mathematical theory and morality. And the fact it has an open ended, morally ambigious ending is even more satisfying. its amazing how much can be done with just words - very impressive. Highly recommended, I must say.

Right, more Foo fighters and blogging, i think. And maybe, If I feel like it, a spot of Googlewhacking ... or maybe even, just spending hours reading pages on wikipedia that that page links to.
Such as What is a hapax legomenon ...or a nonce Word ...or Elgoog . (Incidentally, the example given on Wikipedia is now borked Either way, it Might be slightly less boring that lots and lots of pages about Soviet Bomber planes...

This post has been broguht to you courtesy of Helen love's song 'Dave Gorman's googlewhack adventure', which is insanely cathcy and certain to cheer me up in a morning. It certainly did this morning.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. The reaosn why worries me. I appear to have a lump somewhere where I shouldn't have. And in other news, I'v echanged the name of the blog again. For one day. In honour and salute of Brian Blessed, aka Prince Vultan...because Tonight, We Dine in Mongo!

Nb:mark, whats yr whack? Spell it backwards, if you like.

I had a genius idea... and then I realised I wasn't the first person to think of it. But its so so true...

What film couldn't be improved imemasurably with the addition of Vultan? Dressed exactly as above?

The best way to improve 300 would be to replace Gerard Butler as the raging hetero man-hulk with... Brian Blessed. In fact, as this guy says, and its very true... I can't think of a single film that couldn't be improved by adding Brian Blessed in it . (Except possibly Koyaanisqatsi.)

As someone else said, watching 300 is 'a bit like watching someone play a computer game for two hours whilst doing Brian Blessed impersonations. As mentioned in one review..."300 bridges the much needed gap between an army recruitment video and Gay Porn". Ahem. And too true is this too.

All you'd need him to do is bark 'Gordon's Alive!' at random moments and hey presto! instant masterpiece.

*gets sandals, storms off to beach with plastic sword and chestwig*

P.s. I think I've had too much coffee this morning.

Went to the pub. Had a couple of pints. Came home. Slept. Woke Up, had a sandwich, wnet to the library. It was a good - eleven hour - sleep though.

More on Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday. Don't worry about the Radio silence.

A few rubbish links then...With an inexplicable bias toward russian military aircraft (thinkrussian...), so it seems.

i) back and forth, the KGB officers go....in the worlds largest aircraft . The TU-95.

ii) Thank God For The Bomb . And what a bomb. The biggest bomb in the world.

iii)And where do they make it? Places like this , closed off military towns. There's another link here and a bigger list of 'closed towns' here

iv) tescopoly cheap - courtesy of ..tesco!

v)Casino Royale - Airline edition

vi)Lock up your wi-fi... or go to jail when others piggyback on your connection

vii) Smedley Butler says War is A Racket . As pertinent now as it was then, in 1932.

viii)And How to run for President from prison whilst serving a ten year sentence for sedition and treason.. The strange caseof Eugene Debs . Read what got him imprisoned here here

ix) Why do we choose Microsoft?, everytime ?

x)The British Migrant underclass link - or modern day slavery? Is there a difference? Read about the smuggling routes here

xi)Earthquake hits Kent.. here . mark has rung me since and not mentioned it, so I think he's ok then. And Xander.

xii) I was Wrong says Tony blair. Almost as shocking as the fact he once has brown hair.(Linkee more here )

xiii)Supercomputer Mouse brain !

xiv) 248 dimensions... solved.

xv) Just what the hell is going on with Blade Runner . new reshoots for a new DVD?


laters...

I left work early, I went to the doctors. I feel like Its all a bit circular, this doctors thing. I went to the library, and then went home. i cooked. I talked on the phone. And sadly, This thing with the new girl isn't really going anywhere either, so it seems. Dammit.

And reading the BBC, Whats really odd about the greatest '18 certificate moment' in any film ever is... that the film it is in is now rated 15. (Yes, Alien was re-certified to be a 15 in 2003) .And Apparently Kraftwerk are giving away a 'special' version fo radioactivity as an mp3 according to this

Read a bit more of my book. Slept. Went to work. Bought AAA batterIES, checked my email. That sort of thing. Worked a bit more. Nothing exciting. laters, h8rs.....

Written on Tuesday, up,loaded today...

Monday,I stayed late. I blogged. I came home. I cooked. I chatted on the phone briefly, and I did some pottering around on the PC.

With a bit of luck though, I might be able to write this on a USB memory stick and then load it into the PC, rather than snatching moments here and there at work.

Now I watch a lot of movies. I've been in a pretty trashy movies mood and I've decided to watch some stuff that might be welll - fun - rather than high art.

So, Sunbday, it was "Mindhunters". It pretty much marks Renny Harlins decline from making blockbusters down into "DVD premeriere" material - as they politely describe what would previously have been called 'Straight To Video' stuff. "Mindhunters' is a prime case in example - It was filmed in 2002, and scheduled for release in 2003. And then it was just shelved for two years (two full years - in which time the Renny Harlin was hired, made and released another movie (the far superior (to this anyway) Exorcist: The Beginning)).

Anyway, I'm a sucker for a serial killer movie."Mindhunters" is exactly that. Its Pretty derivative, as the plot outlines suggest; Serial killer picks off a bunch of people one by one, Which makes it pretty much like every other serial killer movie. This time, they're stranded on a fictional island used as a naval training facility. Which is the best part of the entire film, actually - the locations are great. The deaths are inventive, and scream out loud. Some of them really are very entertaining. But Mostly, it sjust based - like a lot of serial killer movies - on an increasingly absurd and ever more improbable string of coincidences that completly fall apart the second you think twice about too much. Quite frankly, for whatever good bits the film has - the script is terrible, and the hinge upon which the entire film falls apart. If only they had spent a little longer on writing a logical script, this could have been a nice and surprising addition to the genre.

Instead, its cornball entertainment with nothing behind the surface, and what you see is just what you get. A few good ideas and inventive death scenes do not a good movie make, especially when its so incredibly derivative. (In fact, it srongly reminds me of "Alien:Resurrection", if only because its a movie where people in a fixed, inescapable location get killed off one by one in which there's an underwater gunfight, and one of them is stuck in a wheelchair and is fascinated with guns.How original. Its probaby the most expensive straight to Video ($30 million) made movie I've seen though).

And last night, I watched "ultraviolet". God, what a disappointment. Now, I'm a big fan of the previous film the director did, which was "Equilbrium" - a film for which the director did two commentaries. This on the other hand.... The director doesn't even do one, and in the making of extras he speaks for precisely ten seconds, in a on-set rehearsal discussion. He has no involvement otherwise.And why? Because this film was taken out of his hands, and recut into indecipherable, nonsensical shreds. Fact is, the original directors cut was about two hours. The version released is ..84 minutes. Cut down to just the action.

Again, like "mindhunters", the high point of the film is the architecture and locations - shot almost entirely in Shanghai, it looks unlike any other film you've seen since Minority Report. Its also, wall to wall greenscreen FX. And not good FX - the hyperstylised, unreal plastic CGI which only seems to exist in Science fiction movies. Some of the effects are - in all honesty - just sloppy, plasticky, sub-Cutscene material. It is telling perhaps, to note that it is possibly closer to "Shaolin Soccer" in terms of non-sensical non-physics CGI.Now, On basis of "Equilbrium", I wanted to see this at the cinema, but it came off in about a week; which seemed insane, until I realised just how dreadful this is. In the way it was been cut and recut and butchered. However, on basis of the film I've just watched , it was pretty much beyond hope so it seems. Which is a shame, because its reliance on utter bullshit (portable anti-gravity wells, motorcycles that drive up the side of buildings, fly through helicopters, and so forth, teleporting cyber-weapons that appear out of thin air) just shoot the bullshitometer through the roof. Almost entirely unoriginal (ok, think Underworld:Evolution meets Equilbrium meets AI.... ), unconvincingly, plasticky and with comic book martial arts fightscenes which border on a parody of anime from a 13 year old boy whose only ever read Hentai, and then stuck in machine guns to boot.

However I've come to realise that Milla Jovovovich is the curse of death for any movie, and a surefire sign of utter cackness.( Linkee Review )

Anyway, its too late, so I'm off to bed. I hope I enjoy today much more at work than yesterday - I really did feel like I was just plunged in at the deep end with something I had nowhere near enough experience with. I hope if I ever do it again, I will be trained properly in what job I'm supposed to be doing before I do it, because otherwise Its just an adhoc measure. However, I can't write too much here about my work - and I never do discuss specifics - because Whilst I haven't advertised...people notice the blogger logo popping up on the screen. If I wanted people at work to read about my innermost whinging, I'd give 'em the address, but I consider this blog here a personal thing, not a work thing. The blogs not about my work, its just an outlet for the stuff in my personal life. Which isn't very exciting at the best of times. Just the usual narcissic self-obsessed rubbish really. Aren't all blogs?

<

Worked late, blogging and surfing. Got a lift home. Cooked. Giles popped over, went to Supermarket (Asda in Oldbury, got annoyed by a mispriced dvd - thought it was £1, it was £7 because the sticker was stuck on at angle, dammit),off to a movie (blades of glory - very silly, but funny. will ferrell is getting very one dimensional though, then tesco, and back. Sleep. And then... morning.

I heartily agree with the sentiment above. At least it shuts up Jar jar the sci fi clown.

This Silence is Deafening...



So, i've changed the name. Decided the other one was a bit too portentous for its own good really.

Monday night, I came home. Chatted on the phone. Watched a terrible movie. Tuesday was work, nothing really interesting.

Didn't go anywhere, didn't buy anything, but I did leave early.

I left early to meet....him. You know, my brother.He was in town, for a gig. James.

James? After a long hiatus of solo projects, they've decided to write some new songs. Then the record company put out a double best of (next week) , with single CD supermarket version, and a DVD (with an atrociously jumbled up running order ). And the booking agent books a tour for them, tells the band about it afterwards...oh well. And you know what?

Firstly, its lovely to see them in somewhere thats not the cavernous NEC, like I did in 1999. linkee here . And much as I love james, that the only time I've ever seen them before, for which I must say - good gig, rubbish venue.

And last night was a little bit better - good gig, but a great great venue. Was wonderful to see them. Because, simply, on the sly...I'm a huge fan of james. very little music you can lose yourself in, but James always does. And at last, i got to hear them play "Seven", which is a song utterly adore. Though cuttign the song in half and slowing down the tempo really doesn't work, but it still is a song I love. Ok, Destiny Calling seemed a little scrappy, a little rough. But on the other hand, "Honest Joe" was Revalatory - It never really made sense until I heard it live, and it was the most interestign song they played, and made me wonder just exactly how far ahead of Radiohead they were. (this version could easily have fit in the middle of "Kid A"). And the bass player? he's a dead rigner for grumpy Sean Lock, from 15 storeys high.

The setlist, by the way, culled from www.oneofthethree.co.uk is Come Home, Destiny Calling, Ring The Bells, Seven, Who Are You, Chameleon, Honest Joe, Really Hard, Out To Get You, She's A Star, Five-O, Upside Downside, Getting Away With It (All Messed Up), Say Something, Tomorrow, Sit Down, Hymn From A Village, Gold Mother, Laid and Sometimes.

Also on one of the three is a highly recommended review of the glasgow show here .I gather though, from the metro interview in the local paper, that Tim booth has stuck his solo projects and film career on hold for eight months, so I expect to see another album and some more shows around Christmas time. As long as they don't end up in Arena's, I think I'd like to see them again.

Mark crashed, i went to work, and aside from the moment where somethign got sweary at me and nasty, it seems to have gone ok...As for going invite only, its a possibility. A few people at work have noticed the fact that the blogger screen turns up on my screen occasionally, and I may have to keep the personal stuff away from their eyes.

off out tonight. Its orange wednesday!

This blog may be going invite only shortly. I have my reasons.... try me at grahambreed_uk AT yahoo.com; head it "BLOG INVITE"

Anyway,Some links, then....
i)ooof! Censorship in the Uk Die HArd Censored...

ii) Who needs planes when you can have a Bridge? man. nature. Alsaka

iii) Just like mark, im a bit of a Packrat...

iv)Hacking Satnavs? Find out More

v)A Genuine Banksy? Eh?

vi) Some spot on reviews of Mindhunters... Wikipedia , and these two are quite good pieces on it... Efilm and twitchfilm . Im secretly a bit of Renny harlin fan.... but there again, I am a sucker for big budget dumb entertainment.

vii) Apparently Mindhunters was inspired by an Agatha Christie Novel of a very very dodgy title Look down here , and shares the same inspiration as another (though similarly ludicrous film which breaks the last wall entitled... Identity , which apparently bears some resemblance to the fictional film within a film in Adaptation called The 3 (Or Thr3e, as some call it). As for Mindhunters, the trivia section is interesting if spoilerriffic ,a dn it perfectly adheres to the cliched Final Girl theory......

More tomorrow

Blah Blah Blah....



A quiet weekend. I felt really hemmed in last weekend - I'm definitely not used to spending time around people, and I am used to having my own space. So I had a very quiet weekend. I didn't go out. i didn't get hammered. No, i went to the library, and then into town to buy a bus pass, did a spot of charity shop shopping, a cheap DVD or two, a coupel of 50p CD albums - such as Jimi Hendrix live at the Royal Albert Hall (as was free with the Daily Mail), The Boo Radley's "Wake Up!", a couple of magazine Freebies, a book, that sort of thing. Then i bought some food, and a few other bits and pieces. Went Home. Had a very quiet night. Was in bed before midnight.

I slept till eleven on Sunday. I woke up, and watche dmovies. Went to the Shop, bought bread, and the mail On Sunday - which in a rather unprecedented manner, was givign away an album which has sold 15 to 17 million copies worldwide, including 2 million alone in the Uk. Aha, must be Mike oldfields 'Tubular Bells'. Which Makes it a hell of a giveaway, and you can expect to see a bazillion copies of the vinyl dumped into charity shops and your local MVE any day now, now that we've all upgraded into the new digital 2001 remaster. Mind You, I'd find the unqiue itunes version an interesting listen though.... linky (Though it is interesting to see the note about the 2003 re-recording of it on Wikipedia - "A genuine CD in America"

So I watched a couple of movies and tided up at the same time. I didn't get very far - The films were "Die Hard with a vengeance", "midnhunters" (Ok, pretty derivative, beautiful architecture but sadly underused with an exceptionally derivative script but some spectacular death scenes; I'll write more about this tomorrow) and "Bush's Brain" (heavy, but good).

Work on monday. Didn't really enjoy it.

Work was...

1. Do you still talk to the person you LAST kissed? Yes. What am I, playing kiss chase?

2. Have you ever seen your best friends cry? No. Too much reserve. But some I’ve seen cry, that much is true.

3. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? Fizzy, sugary ones.

4. What is the last thing you ate? Ham and Mustard Sandwich. I hate Mustard, but for some reason, there’s an obsession in supermarkets with ham and Mustard sandwiches. Mustard with everything, for gods sake. Its vile. Why can’t you just use Mayonnaise instead, Huh?

5. Did you get any compliments today? Not really.

6. Have you ever gone to court? No, But I’ve been with someone as they went to court.

8. Are you friends with your neighbours? Not really. We get by alone, pretty much. I have only one, and they keeps themselves to themselves. We don’t like strangers round here, does we? Ooo, aaar.

10. What language does your mum speak? English

11. Where have you lived throughout your life? Birmingham, Middlesbrough, Walsall, and then back to Birmingham.

12. What's the last piercings you got? I got one in the middle of the brain for picking up the radio waves as I walk home. Even the tinfoil het doesn’t protect me from the radio waves beaming straight into my head. (Reality? I have no piercings. There’s no real point, to be honest.)

13. When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes? Oh, erm… Saturday morning. A friend of mine dropped me back home.

14. Do you get distracted easily? Uh, yeah, what were you saying again? I kinda hazed out there for a while.

15. Have you ever thrown up/passed out from drinking? Thrown up, yes. Passed out, no.

16. How many times have you drank alcohol? About as much as Brian hates the Romans, which is… A Lot. I’ve quit for Lent.

18. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?.Nope.

19. Have you ever toilet papered someones house? Nope. I have no idea what this is about.

20. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's/brother's friend? Oh, probably. God knows. I’ve grown up since then.

21. Have you ever gone to a beach? Yes. It was hot, wet, and full of sand. And then I saw this HUUUGE nuclear power station. Woah.

22. Have you ever had a stalker? Sadly, yes. I’m really not worth it. They seemed to be a troll, more than anything. Being stalked says more about them than it does about me though, I suspect. Its not very pleasant, it’s just a bit stupid really.

23. Do you remember your music teacher's names? Mr Wakelam. Catholic, and very eccentric. Mr Stagg – last seen being arrested four days before trying to run off to the Costa Del Crime in order to escape the long arm of the law. He was arrested for an indecent act in a public place with a minor, If what I was told is correct.

24. How good is your eyesight? *squints* who said that? Who? I can’t see you. Just knock my glasses off, I’m blind as can be.

25. Have you ever gone to a party? Yes. A few. The one I really liked was Social…hang on, the Socialist party.Oh. I’ve missed the point, haven’t I?

26. Would you ever swim with the sharks? Yeah. And while I’m at it, I’m going base jumping without a parachute, you doofus.And I can’t even swim.

27. What would you say if I told you I was in love with your bro? I’d say You’d have to ask his wife first. She might mind.

28. Have you ever been out of your country? Yes. But It was so rubbish, I came back.

29. Have you seen your best friend naked? Nope. I don’t want to. Blerks don’t do it for me.

30. What's the best wedding you've been to? I don’t go to many, but the best one was my brothers. I don’t know any other weddings where you get to play Slayer and Motorhead….(but I was a rubbish DJ, sorry. I might have been a lot lot better if I was sober)

31. Would your parents be mad if you got suspended for fighting? Hell yeah. They would wonder what I was doing back in school, for gods sake. On the other hand, if I was caught fighting at work, we’re talking something a little more…severe… than a mere suspension. Being fired for Gross Misconduct more like.

32. Where are your siblings right now? I dunno. Probably in his Living room, monging on the intermaweb wondering why I haven’t updated my blog yep.

33. Do you have a Coach, Fendi or Louis Vuitton purse? Are you goddamn Kidding? Do you seriously think I’d spend such stupid bloody money on a stupid fashion accessory that has NO practical use except to impress people’s whose opinion I don’t actually care about it, like the mindless fashion sheeple that they are. Baaaa. Hear me? Baaaaa, you goddamn sheep.

34. What's the last dream you can remember? Something about watching some band or something.My dreams are rubbish – I never end up doing anything exciting.

35. Who was the last person that called you? My brother I think.

36. What time did you wake up this morning? 6.34. I couldn’t get back to sleep.

37. What did you do this weekend? I stayed at home, did a spot of cheapo shopping, and did some tidying up. Not enough, though.

38. What does the 4th text message on your phone say? Its quite shouty.

40. When was the last time you were sick and where was it? May 2004, food poisoning, around the then-girlfriends house. I will never eat from that dodgy chip shop again.

41. Who's the last celebrity you touched? Erm, I think it was one of Nitzer Ebb. But that stretches the word ‘celebrity’ rather a lot.

42. What's in your back pocket? My bum

43. When was the last time you smoked a cigg? Never. I hate the vile poison.

44. Do you want to be pregnant right now? Well, no. Its impossible. I wouldn’t want to be pregnant though.

45. Do you wear colored contacts? Oh yeah, all the time. I really love being looked at like an insect.

47. What were you doing at 4am this morning? Being Voluntarily unconscious, because I had school work in the morning.

48. What do you usually do first in the morning? “Oh Shit, It’s morning”. And then I get up, and make a Bacon Sandwich.

49. Do you know anybody in the Army? No. At my wedding, the bridesmaid husband insisted on turning up in his full military uniform. At work, they called him “Cannon Fodder” because he was convinced there was bullet out there with his name on it, and he was willing to take it for Queen and Country. Bless. I don’t see such devotion from the Queen to him, though.

50. What are you going to do after this? Scratch my chin and wonder If It’s really a good idea to continue growing a rather ineffectual devil goateee beard….

Sometimes you read about things you ain't never heard of before.... and then you think you're never going to see them. So today, when in Tescos, I find it on half price discount, well...ya gotta say yes to another excess...

Perhaps buying this with Bacon may have given away I'm outside the normal target market, but there agin, its just like the way Coke used to be, before they changed the formula in the eighties. Usually its all gone before the end of the holiday, but hell, when you see it on discount, you gotta try it. (There's a great couple of links; try here and here about how its the finest coke money can buy.)

Never seen it before maybe will never see it again. But there again, it is supposed to be only sold in select areas with large Jewish Communites like New York and Chicago. Almost rural areas of Burmingham don't really fall into that. There again....I do live in what the Americans would call the projects.

I could only find Diet though. Not quite the real thing then, but hell... I even found a few of the even more exceptionally rare Canned variety. Astounding. And its only available for two weeks a year. And looking at the bottling info... Straight Outta Israel.

Just a few quick linkees...



i) Secure your broadband in Redditch ...or get nicked. Theft of electricity, I think. Very serious offence, that one.
ii) Microsoft windraws XP in order to get everyone to use Vista... and Does a swift 180 degree Uturn at Custoemr outrage
iii) Spain retakes Gibraltar in cyberwar ... Thatcher sends out a 1000 troops to makes them give it us back Crack SAS Web commandos skilled in the dark arts gallantly give their lives to keep Gibraltar British...
iv) Windows on the cheap... But no one in the Uk will ever need it, will they?
v) Star Trek type shield to be made into reality
vi) badger Orgies In Sheffield enrage human neighbours
vii) man Peers into Uranus, sees things years before anyone else...
viii)Tarantino's Death Proof to be expanded to One Hour 1hour 50 minutes for European release... Linkee . No news on 'Werewolf Women of the SS' though...
ix) Radio Koowijk . Quite possibly one of the wierdest towns I've ever seen. (more Linkees here and here
x) Interesting series of Articles on the nature of Capitalism... linky Up the workers, comrade!
xi) Workers destroy £250k painting. Council says it employs cleaners, not art critics.

On a different tangent...It's easy to slander and accuse... and for some accusations the dirt doesn't wash off. Not easily. Not ever. The stigma hangs around forever. Of course, for such crimes... people always use their real names, their real details, don't they? Just in case they get caught, they want everyone to know who they are. They'd never try to hide their identity.

We all know how prevalanet identity theft is in the UK. Everyday, cards get cloned, number used illegally, purchases made fraudulently. Lists of card numbers go around, can be manufactured; Either through social engineering, or slips in petrol stations. Duplicate cards made, purchases made. Elliot Castro (in a shocking article in the guardian) ( link and Link outlined just how eays it was, as did this.

Now....imagine one of those fraudulent numbers is used in a crime. Your card. Its gets on a list. The names gets out, Circulated. Next thing you know you're in a web of crime you know nothing about. The police knock down your doors, you are arrested, grilled, under accusation. Simply because a criminal - the most despicable kind, those who sexually attack children , used your number at random.

Ok, so thats a bit melodramatic the way its written but... its happened. And people have taken their own lives, because the dirt doesn't wash off. it doesn't mean they are innocnet - nor does it mean that they are guilty. But the shame is enough, even of being accussed, with a simple random act of theft the consequences ended someones life.

Credit card thieves take more than just money sometimes. Much more.

And winning the wierdest jpg i've sene in the last half an hour award is...


I stayed late and worked. I went home and cooked. I talked on the phone, booked tickets to London, Watched a documentary ; "The Power Of Nightmares." Which is fascinating, heady, heavy, and gripping stuff. Lots of archive footage too; flowcharts, christian fundamentalists, ronald reagan, cruise missiles. All the stuff that was greta about the eighties. Chatted on the phone. Slept. Was in bed for midnight. That was about it really.

I had the wierdest dream about a funeral, and then, in Bryan Adams style, it was two cups of coffee and I ran for the bus.....

So I left work, went home, and then... had cereal for tea. Six Weetabix. Mmmm, nice.Listened to some music - more old skool rave - Waited For Giles to arrive, to go off to the movies.To Set the controls for the heart of the sun...

Sunshine looks beautiful.Its also deeply, deeply disappointing. Whilst it is convincing, and the special effects are utterly, brilliantly, magnificent.....it is also deeply derivative. And it doesn't so much jump the shark as bounce the shark. its list of obvious influences are myriad and well recited, but lets just try...shall we....

The sun is dying. Man's only hope is the Icarus II - a ship carrying mankinds only hope to stop the sun from dying. Its only hope is a huge payload designed to be dropped into the cornea of the sun and then restart the dying star. But the unexpected happens on the way. It always does.

And as films go; and like the previous collaboration between Danny Boyle, it all falls apart into a completley different and totally unsuited genre about 30 minutes from the end, where in this case it returns to the stereotypical bughunt 'monster in space' cliches.It didn't need those cliches. Not at all. It destroys the air of relative believability the rest of the movie has had.

I mean, here we are on a philosophical journey to the sun, and then it turns into : "2061:Attack of the Space Zombies", just when they discover the remains of their predecessor mission and the burned muderous husk of its only survivor, running amok in a killing spree for absolutely no reason whatsoever. no logic. No sense. Dramatic, or otherwise. It just destroys the incredibly detailed work and ramped up tension of the first hour.

Honestly, the ending is terrible.Utter pretentious, figurative, touch the sun, bollocks. it might be meant otherwise, but honestly... its pretty cringeworthily bad. The film aims high, tries to reach the stars, but instead, falls flat on its arse weigherd down by its own illogical plotting, utter ludicrousity, and obligatory space monster. All it does is just make you cringe. And then the Cannonball RunII esque outtakes running at the side of the screen at the end are a hopeless misstep.

Plus points? A Brilliant, Brilliant first hour. Magnificent effects. Well scripted, logical, and taut, looks incredibly expensive, philosophical, insightful, and it looks like nothign else I've ever seen.

Bad points? Everything from when they realise someone sneaked abord the Icarus I, and its the good old Space zombies. Who managed to survive thatclose to a sun, on an unpowered spaceship, without food or water, for seven years. Thank god for bad movie science - because there's a lot of it, and its astonishingly bad movie science that exists for absolutely no reason whatsoever except to propel the plot along. linky

Its also incredibly, unbelievably unoriginal. So, lets just tick off the influences.

2001 and 2010. (Pretty much everything; from spaceship design, unprotected spacewalks, new stars being formed)
the Fountain. (Man travelling through space to save the one he loves, makes self sacrifice)
Solaris. (People held psychological slave to a ominous body in space, whilst debating philosophy; at end, ship plunges into it, everybody dies. See the interior designt oo)
Alien. (The opening scene to do with cooking - the visit to another space ship and carrying a passenger on board who kills everyone)
Event Horizon. (A space probe discovers a ship lost in space for sven years, and then everyone goes crazy. Also see framecuts)
Dark Star. (Capt. Pinback. A Ship in space carrying bombs designed to blow up malfunctioning solar bodies. And at the end the survivors burn up falling into a solar body)
the Core. (Need to save the planet? Just detonate a bloody big bomb in the middle of a solar body. Earth? The Sun? Who Cares!)
the Chronicles of Riddick (Running from the flames to shelter).
Red Planet. (The flame out decompression, the explosive decompression sequence)
Lost In Space (a ship out of control plunging towards the sun).
Hypercube. (Interior design, all the white, plus all that cubular stuff at the end.)
Solar Crisis. (just check out the plot)
Jason X. (Zombies in Space kill everyone. And then burn up plunging through the atmosphere of a star or planet)

yes, Zombies In Space. Jeez. Blew the whole movie for me.Frakking ludicrous.

Then I came home. And Slept. And Worked.

Raving, I am Raving....


In celebration of the 3CD, 60 track old skool rave compilation I purchased yesterday from the local fencing joint (AKA chav converters, all goods stolen purchased for dosh), I awoke up in a raving mood. (This was partly inspired by a conversation with Scottish Girl last night, where I revealed that one of my friends first jobs was buying dust masks for Altern 8). So I was propelled to work with the power of Full On Mask Hysteria....

Altern-8 - Evaporate!
The KLF - What Time Is Love?
u96 - Das Boot
Slayer - Angel Of Death

Yes, Angel of Death. Aieeeeeeeeeee! Its a Kolossal Kranium Krunching Klassik.Albeit, not rave. But it was what I listened to before leaving the house. That and the massive orchestral stabs of early 90s rave. Start the day off with a cheesy slab of euphoric 90's rave, that works for me. And I do love that U96 track - its got the most hilarious german teutonic tekno gobbledook. Big eletronic cyber voices shouting "one two three TEKNO!" and squealing emergency sirens. Hilarious fun. And it certainly woke me up.

Tuesday, I worked over a bit, typed the blog, and then, got a lift home. Cooked a Bacon Sandwich, in blatant defiance of the news telling me its as bad for my lungs, and tootled aorund the flat. Had text messages off my Bro, had a couple of phoNe calls, felt a bit wierd still, listened to tunes and the radio, spoke to friends. very dull. managed yet another row with New Girl, though not by design. Crossed wires. Went to bed early, and woke up late, but got to work on time. A pretty dull day, all in all.

Work. Yeah, Work. Gotta be done.

You Don't Remember,I'll never forget.....



I left work, and went to check my email. That would explain the last blog post. Whilst I do discuss my private life, I generally only do so in pretty vague terms. And by vague I mean "It was a good day"/ "it was a bad day" / and so forth. What I don't do in get tied up in the minutae of arguments, arguing the fine points of things which have no business being archived on the internet forever. I've done that before, and I will never do it again. Its tedious, and pointless, and I hate rowing. Because... lets face it... no good comes out of it; no good comes out of archiving the minutae of arguments. Instead, I keep stumm on certian things, and that takes a spot of decorum. And a lot of biting my lip, even If I do want to scream. For example, with the issue of my daughter and how often i see her and so forth, I just saw things are difficult. (And they are). But I don't go into detail, and I don't discuss the minutae.

Sometimes real life and blog life interact, and its not good. Happened to me. Pynchon has had to do it too.I had to do it after acquiring a blog stalker (ok, a disgruntled one night stand trolling for attention caused by some insane desire for petty revenge)... and recently I had to install comment moderation following some difficulties. I'm pretty certain I know exactly who it was who was causing difficulties there, but you know what? it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference, would it, knowing who it was, or why. Knowing wouldn't solve anything, or make me any more enlightened.

Ok, so there are things I won't talk about here - maybe things I'll talk around of, but not explicitly about. If you're interested in knowing more about men who aren't with women who they have children with anymore and have trouble with the ex, I think Lord Bargain is a far more informative read. (However, his ex doesn't then leave comments on it). There's a reason why I don't get drawn into the nitty gritty details. That's between me and them, not the rest of you.

Then I went to my dads. There was some post for me to pick up - and It upset me more than I thought it would.Much more. He offered to give me a lift back, but I made my own way. I'm stubborn like that. (In fact, I'm stubborn about everything.)

knowing you are going to be divorced is one thing ; seeing the letters from solicitors, well... thats another. it makes it much more... real. And final. And I just didn't feel particularly socialble after that. The post upset me a little bit. I have to fill in a consent form and return it to a solicitors.

The thing that upset me the most was the fact that Well, she didn't remember...and I'll never forget. She says we split up in March 2004 (We didn't - she chucked me out May 1st 2004. I'll never forget it. I'll never forget the day she made me homeless, chucked me out of my home. I never will. And That fact she can't even remember which month it was upsets me - she pretty much destroyed my life and I had to rebuild it completely from scratch, and she cares so bloody little she can't even be bothered to remember when it was. Shows how little I meant to her, really that she can't even remember when the single most life changing event in my life, and one that she was responsible for.. it disappoints me how little it means to her. (Which is probably, precisely ... bugger all. ) Oh Well. C'est La vie. I'll be glad when its over, but probably a little emotional.

I'm emotional because of the situation with Rebecca's mum too. it doesn't need to be this way. It really doens't. it makes little sense to me for it to be like this.its been preying on my mind the last few days.

I didn't feel particularly socialble, so I came home. i couldn't sleep. I rarely can, I don't know why.

After this mornings spree killing (Wikipedia says its a massacre, which is a different form of killing altogether), I wonder. And this is the mgihty Conservapedia says to the immortal question; ""Is Gun Control the answer to crimes involving guns?"; and back when Conservapedia started its answer was simply "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!".

There's 33 dead bodies in Virginia that say otherwise. 33 families who will never see their sons or daughters again.

Logic states that the useage of something in criminal activity is directly related to its availability. No one uses nuclear weapons in a hold up because they simply aren't available. Thus, the more available guns are,the easier it is to get you hands on one. And misuse it. Thus,if there are no guns held in private hands, then the probability of THEM being used in gun crime will drastically decrease.And therefore there will be less gun crime. As Bill hicks says - Gun Control? "England, where no one has guns; fourteen deaths. United States ; 23,000 deaths from handguns. But there's no connection, and you'd be a fool and a communist to make one."

So lets blame something else. Long black trenchcoats? Hollywood action movies? the Matrix? Video Games? Loud heavy metal? Judging by the reaction after Columbine, and just look at the hysteria after that, yes, of course to all of them. How about we blame the Koreans? After all, it was a Korean who attacked America's freedoms; Mr CHo

Because the one thing that certainly isn't to blame is the free and easy use of guns, as enshrined by the constitutional right of the Second Amendment thats "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed". Of course, that is taken out of context ; at the time, the US was a fledging nation which was just declaring its freedom after a civil war of independence, with the constant threat of invasion. The use of private militia to defend the US homeleand against an invading English cavalry armed with muskets is now incredibly outdated. And lets face it - If such a militia existed to defend its homeland, it could be be completely annihilated by a single Bunker Buster, (such as the GBU37). The use of arms in this context is therefore, historically superseded, outdated, and irrelevant. The practical upshot now, is that it gives private citizens the ability to massacre each other at will. There is simply no imaginable defense for the owner of assualt rifles in the home. None whatsoever.

But just remember, keep your hands off our guns. They are sacred.beyond reproach. More sacred than the human life they are supposed to defend.And that, my friends, is what we call, civilisation. Amen!

Sorry, I cannot publish that comment. Nor will I publish comments on that issue. full stop.

I've spoken about things in vagaries, not specifics. I don't want to get involved in public mudslinging regarding the minutae of childcare arrangements and so forth. So I won't discuss it in any further detail than I already have.

And I won't settle to have the finger pointed, neither. None of us are beyond blame - and if people start pointing fingers and laying blame, no good will come of it.

I miss my daughter though.

As weekends go, that was rather nice. Aside from the shouty bits where I discussed the ex on Saturday (I can't really remember what I said, but there have been difficulties and no one likes that), It was an... unusual... weekend. I went to the library, and splurged with a couple of DVDs I bought. And erm...some food. Bought some food. Very important, is food.

As for what I wrote on Saturday, well... sometimes you can only keep it in for so long before it all gets to a head, and Sometimes you just gotta get it out. And I am exceptionally stubborn. And then, I got soMe foodshopping in, and new girl came over.

She stayed until late sunday, and its been a long time since someone's spent that long with me. We managed to row and fall out at least once (hell, you'd be disappointed if it we didn't), but on the plus side, she did cook me dinner on Sunday evening. Which made me feel all tingly inside, and no, not with food poisoning. On the other hand, its really wierd to share a bed with someone, but made much easier by the fact its a double bed and therefore, less cramped. Its really wierd, these beginning of a relationship, and getting used to not being in control of your own little hovel all the time. Dammit, I wasn't built to compromise.

I stayed up later, because I'd hardly had any time to myself at all over the weekend. And now I look at myself in the mirror and wonder why I'm doing a panda impression. There's more black bags under my eyes than rubbish collection day.

I burned a Morrissey live CD (London/Blackpool/Sheffield February 1995), listened to Jello Biafra (which is very informative, but slightly the wrong side of i)I'm right and I told you so and ii) a bit too much like beig shouted at for my liking at that time of the morning), and Went to work the next morning. Work is, what it is. Go figure....

I would have stuck this at the top , but it might be considered a little offensive.

More tomorrow.

Its a beautiful day.



The sun shines, the heat beating down on the green grass, and the buses even run on time. What kind of paradise is this? Can't be england, can it? Surely not. No, its somewhere else. its a place where I don't beat myself up all the time for being quite so bloody rubbish and being a miserable failure as a human being. Which I am. Whilst everything else in my life falls apart - my relationship with my daughter is complicated, practically non-existent and it hurts me incredibly much to say so. Its difficult, to stand your ground and withhold those principles which you have compromised before and cost you so very very dear, especially at such a cost. You see, I'm stubborn, and I'm obstinate. And Little by little, with my wife, I let her manipulate me, to compromise, I let her back me into a cornerfrom which I could not possibly escape; and it cost me incredibly dearly. My job. My home. my marriage. it shattered me, psychologically, for a long time, and my life now is that which I am rebuilding for myself piece by tiny piece.

The upshot of which is this: you don;t make the same mistakes twice. If you make them once, you learn from it. You do it twice, you deserve everything you get. First time roudn, i ended up homeless, penniless, jobless, and alone. Next time, I won't let that happen next time. Never again, will I compromise my principles in a relationship for an easy life. Never again will I let myself get backed into a corner like that. never again will I let anyone have that hold over me.

So when Rebecca's mum sends me messages which make me feel like a walking cash machine, I responded rather unco-operatively. And why? because I cannot give what I do not have. The situation is very very complicated, difficult to explain, and intricate. I will not explain here, and without full posession of the facts whcih I am unwilling to give...well, mainly because its no one elses business to explain the minutae of except between me and her...but its very very difficult. And I hate it. I hate the difficulty and wawkwardness of the situation I'v ebeen backed into this time.

But I won't compromise, I won't back down. I did that last time, and it cost me everything.I just rolled over, I played dead. Never again, I won't let them take away from me what little i have built of this lfie for me. No, Its on my terms. solely and exclusively. I will not let anyone else make these decisions about the rest of my life for me, I am not. I won't back down. Let the heavens fall, but I will not cave in.

Yep, that makes things a bit difficult for me sometimes. You can say I'm just obstinate, or awakward or difficult. I'm not. I'm just not going to let myself be walked over. I'm no one's bitch.

(Its at this point I just the image of the guy out of 300 doing the tough guy ping pong fighting talk - "never to retreat, never to surrender!" etc. or my particular favorite; "my lord, it's just an eye. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare." )

Its a beautiful day. I look out of the kitchen window, and thank the lord for the ground (ok, concrete flooring) on which I have. I think of how little I have had, and how low I have fallen in the past - How I was turned away from a homeless hostel and had where else to sleep that night, whilst my daughter was only three days old. I think of how fragile this world and our position is, and how I never intend to give an inch of this hardly fought for ground of mine.

Yes, I am stubborn. Its only after you have lost the simple basics, the roof over your head and everything else, that you realise just how precious these things we take for granted are. (Even if the other day, new Girl told me how I had old man's hands; and Giles told me off for using unsual word sin blogposts like 'ascribe'. Even the psychologist found it interesting some of the less common words I use. I know, I'm sorry, but i haven't eaten a dictionary. I mean, I tried it once, I got papercuts. What am I, a woodlouse?mmmm. cellulose paper products. This is all very kafka-esque, isn't now...I mean, you try and work out just how many dictionaries you need to eat before you die of arsenic poisoning. I'm sure rice paper is a better choice.)

And its with that thought, I'm off listen to u2 on my generic Ipod.(Zooropa, there best and most interesting album. But there again, a lot of fans hate it,where I adore it; I think of it as a bisexual Mardi gras of an album whereas, of Achtung Baby as its hetereosexual twin brother with baggage) And then supermarket to fill up the freezer, and why? Because when you dine, you must get food from somewhere and because welll....



(next time i go to the beach, I'm going to buy a plastic sword, some sandals, and fight CGI heffalumps. Who wants to join me?)

Contrast and compare....



One of these is a hollywood superstar.... and the other a sick little maker of porno. I never knew how the two closely resembled each other until now, though.

Blogging frequency may decrease. I've moved desks, and my new desk no longer recognises removable hard drvies. So I can't write at home, any longer. Damn.

Friday update…..

Thursday evening was a bit of a non starter; I went to the library and checked my email. I went home, and then cooked, and used the phone. A lot. Needed to play catch up with a lot of people I haven’t spoken to in a while, which was overdue. But I did spend a good couple of hours talking to Giles, a couple of hours too long probably. Me and he talk too much, I guess, but we can talk for hours. And then I slept.

And then I awoke, got to work early, and rowed with an ex by text message.I hate rowing.

Links…

i) The vast majority of public workers can’t afford to live – fact. They can’t afford to buy houses – Fact (In the meantime, government staff get below cost of inflation wage rises (which means that in reality - a pay cut), and the customers I deal with get a more than inflation increase. In otehr words, they are getting a better rise than me.) And everyone asks, what will happen next with house prices? Who doesn't want to know . I will write of this more another day. But of course you see, its people who live at home still that are to blame – I mean, of course they can afford a house, no matter what it says here no matter how much the house prices spiral into astronomical levels… Incidentally i read yesterday that In the 1950s Local Authorities built as many as 200,000 homes per year. In 2004 they built just 133. And then they wonder why house prices spiral and people are living at home longer…

II) oooh, pretty lights. awww



iii)A good article on the recent failure of the 3 and a half hour double bil exploitation pic grindhouse… and the success of 300. Its all about marketing and the change of new media. Very interesting indeed. (Talking of 300, there’s a great phrase in this review here , which describes the dialogue as “tough-guy ping-pong,”, which is a perfect summation of it.)

iv)talking of Grind House I’m really excited to see it; I love the concept. But I can’t stand the thought of what they are doing outside the US – which is stripping it into two separate movies (oooh, double the money, how about that for a exploitation movie then!) AND stripping off some I really am looking forward to ; the mock trailers for movies that don’t exist. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a movie called ‘Werewolf Women of the SS’ staring Nic Cage as Fu Manchu? (Director Rob Zombie says he’s filmed half an hour so far – and it sounds brilliantly terrible) Or the new movie from the guys of Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz? And who wouldn’t love a film called “Hobo With A Shotgun”?



iv) And this is interesting too. But I can’t remember what it is about.

v)Rutger Hauer in “Blind Fury 2: Straight to Video”? Luke Perry is the utterly brilliant “Maximum Extreme 2”? Just what is ‘Direct to DVD’? Read more here and here .

Vi) Talking of Ludicrous over the top exploitational horror movies, I’ve always had a soft spot for Jason X: Jason in Space , (aka Robo Jason - The Zombie Years). Its so daft, its great. link And after all, it is Friday the 13th….. (oooh, spooky).

vii)Why is the government so obsessed with private Finance Initiatives? Do they save money? No. Do we own them in the end? No. We end up paying riodiculously over the odds, as “The NHS will pay private companies £53bn for private finance initiative hospitals worth only £8bn, the Conservatives have revealed “ looks like Corporate Welfare has a new face. And anyway, just how much have the benefits of PFI been massaged – could this give us a clue?

viii) What was I looking for again? Oh, yeah, look what I found the Chocolate Trinity. Mmmm. Chocolate.

viii) Its all the fault of them the uppity blacks, says blair....I didn’t realise he had changed his name to FW De Klerk. Yes blame the skin colour – don’t blame the culture of consumption, of debt, of desire for money, of economic insecurity, of no prospects and turfwars – blame the skin. What a damn idiot, my Blair. Love the mullet, pal.

I worked over , a little bit, until about six. There was a database that needed to be completed. I left, I went home, and I got back in half an hour - an unprecedentedly short trip, caused mainly the buses turning up pretty much straight away, thank god.

I cooked, and made a couple of phone calls. Giles popped over, and we went to Asda. I spent £14 on a multitude of items - a plastic bucket, chocolate, drinks, indigestion tablets, a couple of discounted CD singles for £1 each. That sort of thing.

We went to see 300.

Now, 300 - great trailer. great reviews. The film? now, Thats a different matter. Imagine a cross between Gladiator, Lord Of the Rings, and Stargate. With the good bits taken out. Its easy to over intellectualise the film, especially when its been at number one for x many weeks, and its easy to over analyse its success - but there's a few things to make clear.

Firstly, its hyperstylized, and all style, no substance. its very pretty. it looks completely artificial. Secondly, Its got a rubbish plot - but its got one thing. An awful lot of killing. A shedload of killing. And an overabundance of impossibly pert breasts and pert nipples, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and throw in a gollumesque betrayer creature too.

I really cannot recommend 300. Not in the slightest. After yet another wave of faceless, indistinguishable attackers, it all becomes bloody tedious, and repetitive. And whilst it is pleasant to see a film that doesn't succumb to the Inverse Ninja law, what this is is just a succession of cartoon, hyperviolence, without context, reason, or subtext, or sense. For all the lofty speeches, 300 is just a film where people fight. And Kill.

And that's it. Thats all they do. These men define themselves by the fact that they kill. In fact, the only people you can't trust in this movie are the only ones who do not murder, stab, maim and fight with a insane lust of blood. Everyone else is corrupt, everyone else is twisted and selfish - only those who serve selflessly by random wanton acts of violence are true, and trustworthy. So there you go - if you want someone you can trust, find the man trained to kill who slaughters without mercy or remorse. hmmm.

No subtext there, then, obviously. I mean, i was expecting something along the lines of say, a gay porn movie. Lots of half naked men, gripping their weapons in both hands, getting all excited, and spewing of bodily fluids... and then, they stand with their red caps fluttering in the distance like invincible ubermensch. No Superman subtext there, then. Oh no. And the best bit ? these warriors never need to eat, or sleep. They survive on a diet of pure hatred and loyalty. Only once do we see any of them eat, which is the King, eating an apple. In a place where there are no apples. I'm sure there's some 'lost innocence' subtext, but that would ascribe to the film a depth and subtlety it does not possess. In fact, according to Wikipedia, the New Yoprk times review that states its "about as violent as Apocalypto and twice as stupid," seems about right. In fact, with its fascistic overtones and impossibly powerful ubermen, its downright irresponsible. And tedious. And terribly paced - its monotonous, to say the least. In amongst all the fighting and killing, with some fighting and killing, then just for a bit of variety..... there's some fighting and Killing. honestly. 300 is just a visually impressive, but shallow, empty, dull, tedious, monotonous, grating experience. Even if, thankfully, it never succumbs to the "Inverse Ninja Law" (aka The Stormtrooper Effect)

In fact, the best way to describe 300 is best summed up with a single line...



"I can't believe this macho bullshit" .

And then it was to Big Johns, and home. its late, and I must sleep. And I've been listening to too much kiss, thought the phrase 'start rampant bunny fuck' has been the most amusing thing I've read in weeks.(In joke).And Kurt Vonnegut is dead

Mark stayed last night - an early night. Was in bed by quarter past eleven. He turned up at about eight. I'm a bit worried, because I can't find my charger or my old orange phone, which makes me worry if I've left it behind at Marks or lost it. But without my charger, I'm pretty incommunicado, and luckily someone at work keeps a nokia charger permanently plugged in, so I used that.Hopefully someone at work has a spare I could use, rather than me having to go out and spend £10 on somethign i already own.

Anyway, work was somber, given the news the other day. nothing quite reminds you of your own mortality quite as much as death.I was quite shaken by it.

I made a couple of phone calls, came to work, worked over, and finishe doff something I'd been trying to get done for a long time. Off to cinema tonight, to watch "Chippendales with Swords" - or 300, depending on your point of view. i particularly look forward to the bit where half naked, muscular men, cover themselves with oil before puttign their weapons in their hands and causing bodily fluids to gush.

Oh, got a bit carried away there. Sorry...and much as I think Salma Hyek is a bit of a dog, The only picture I've ever liked of her is above. Mainly because I can't see her face.Anyway, linkees Du Jour.

Back tomorrow...

i) Red Shirt apocalypse, meanignless death involved
ii) teh Alternate Universe of Reality. imagine being trapped in some of these...I can particularly recommend the text adventure universe, which sounds oddly familiar to anyone who remembers the eighties.)
iii)Want to get hired in India? Only Women bleed and the government must know about your menstrual cycle, udner pain of being sacked?
iv)Welcome to The Wacky World of Kiss Merchandising.... here ... including the infamous Kiss Kasket (a snippet at $4700) . Ask Dimebag.
v)New Tarantino movie flops Planned to be split into two and sold - But there again, a three and a half hour compendium is something I would love to see...
vi)magic Stealth Airliner discovered.. Cloaking devices as yet unconfirmed
vii) 100 bad things about JFK
viii)Just what is Abandonware?


Toodlepip

Ashford, on a Sunday, is incredibly, incredibly quiet. In fact, Mark said it as the deadest he has ever seen it. Now that, i can believe. it was exceptionally quiet. So after a walk, we came back. And I burned DVDs full of mp3s., so I've a lot of new tunes to listen to...it took ages to burn them, but on the other hand, I've some 400 new albums of stuff to listen to.

We left about nine. We drove all night, well,not all night, but got back about 1AM and then pottered around til 4AM. I got up early, had a bath, and the girlfriend came over. (Its a wierd thing to call her that - I've not a girlfriend in so long, its almost like an alien term, so instead I will refer to her as New Girl). New Girl and I just spent a few hours hanging out, talking and being genlte and being playful, had a lovely time. Which means presumably, my creative juices will dry up and I can go back to the usual king of pain schtick on the blog, eh?

One afternoon nap later - its wierd to get used to all those reflexes of a relationship again, those little moments you share, after such a break from these normal social reflexes and social norms .... She left quite late - about half nine - and then I pottered around cooking and sorting out some of these mp3's. I didn't quite succeed. i despaired at the state of the flat, and then thought to myself - its a school night, time for bed. Morning came around too soon, as it always does.

I came into work to find out my boss's son was found dead over the weekend, possibly suicide. Somehow, I can't believe that that guy who popped into the office on Thursday evening and had a quick chat with is dead. He was younger than me.

Back to work.

I'm still in Ashford. Now that above, thats a metal face! Better than mine, and apparently thats my doppelganger.

Marks on the sofa, reading the Kiss alive tour anthology. I'm burning DVDs of mp3s and pictures from the past few days, bloggers days out, that sort of thing. Xander is asleep upstairs; when he isn't, he is tugging at me, to get me to do things like play with him. And then he smiles in a way that makes my heart melt like butter. And melt it does.

Went for a walk into Ashford - its very quiet, and very shut. I think it would be less boring, but not by much, on a weekday. Mind you, easter sunday was deader than a very dead thing. I didn't even have to check this chav translator , met the really nice friend of his called Tina, bought a DVD of 'Primer' which I've anted to watch for a long long time, and thats about it.

L8rs, h8rs x x

Courtesy of the mighty register....

i) Godless N Korea Commies ate my monster rabbits

ii) Vibrodope . Sex, drugs, and the single woman...

iii) Stingray build ocean base in Indian Ocean, where are the US Navy?

iv) Does God hate Trailer trash?

v) Brad Pitt reveals the real reason behind fightclub - it was get guys getting it on....

Have you noticed how in the past week, there appears to be less self-hatred here? I have

Show me your metal Face! SHOW ME! THIS IS MY METAL FACE!



Can you do a better metal face? Can you? No? Dammit, I'm too damn METAL for you then. Even more metal than number 43 (the Paul Stanley Chestwig) on this list

As Mark recounts, today was eventful. We went to Herne Bay (its very pretty), and then it got interesting. Some bloke leans out of a window and starts shouting down at his mates on the grass verge below. He is obviously, blatantly, exceptionally angry, not to mention inarticulate to the point of incomprehensibility. The upshot of which is something along of lines of, he's split up with his girlfriend, had a kid, and now she's shagging someone else. About the only thing I could decipher into english though, anyway was "I'll fkcuing do yer!" he was shouting..Actually, I think doing someone was the problem as to why he was in this met. And lets face it, nothing makes a woman fall in love with you, get wet between the legs and want you to share your liquid DNA than say - oooh, I don't know, the threat of random violence, anger, and being beaten up. Right? of course.

And he wonders why he got dumped, honestly.

(Come to think of it, this argument and shouting was caused primarily by sex envy. Of course, if he was still gettting laid, then it wouldn't have been a problem, presumably. And nothing annoys a teenage boy quite as much as the fact that THEY are getting some, no matter who they are, and you aren't getting any; therefore, especially because its the girl who has withdrawn the sex and is now shagging barry the nightshift self-stacker from the local garage slash Tesco / your mate tezza from www.kruzinforabruisin.co.uk (because it was those drop top kompressors that get her wild n willing), thus he's angry. They never seem quite so angry if they have friends with benefits.)

Walking back to the car, the clutch goes with a gridning, dropping noise. oh, shit . Giles rings the RAC, and we wait until the light is dropping some two and a half hours later before it is fixed - thank god it was fixed though, rather than having to sort out a tow all the way back to Birmingham. It was in this time that there was someone throught it would be really funny to set fire to a telephone bit and then dump it in the public toilets. nice

And then on the way back, we ended up in the road. A biker had come off the road, and skidded. A car behind had skidded too, and ended up in a tree, which then splewed across the road. So we had to do a three pointer and find an alternative route. When we did, we found the police with a big 'Road Ahead closed' sign.

So we ended up being delayed by some three hours or so overall. Then we came back, and watched one of my favourite, favourite films of alll time.The NEw World, my review of which is here

Did some surfing, found some amusing stuff so here's the linkees....
i) Movie deaths anyone?
ii) Everything I ever needed to know about Nazis I learned from Hollywood
iii)What is a Zoolander Phone?
iv) Scumming . Ever done it? Would you admit to it anyway?
v) National anthem of Kazakstan Borat style
v)the illustrated guide to baby's got back by the mighty MIXALOT

Apparently, my blog is very emo, according to one reader. Maybe If I stop the whole self-pitying thign it might be less so. Best of luck, eh? And in the meantime, don't click on this. It ain't pretty . nor is this - the real truth behind the inspiration for the mighty ZOOLANDER!

Tired. more another day.

Xander woke me up, squealing and excitable with his space rocket. He appears to have really taken to me - "Uncle Stinky " as I'm known (better than being called poohead, I guess) is just like his daddy, but is spends less time on the PC I guess. So he runs up to me, pulls my t-shirts, hits me on the nose, squeals, and is utterly adorable. I love him to pieces.

Stayed up late downloading old and deleted Tangerine Dream soundtracks as Mp3s (Such as the French release of 'The Man Inside' from 1990, that sort of thing). I'm in a very 80's electric synth prog mode. Slept really well, and then maeve appears to commandeer the bed. Bless her, she's my favourite cat in the whole world, but I could be accussed of disloyalty to other cats.....

"Dadda!", the little boy squeals when he sees me emerge. he runs forward and tries to say hello by smacking me in the nose. Ow. And then he giggles and smiles and laughs and runs back to mommy, ellen.

Little X is a wonder, and he can't tell me apart from his dad, what with us being twins. Must be confusing, havign two daddies. Anyway, I had a bath (best bath I've had in months! - the ability to stretch out fully in a bath is severly underrated), and then went out. Went to the seaside Dungeness.

Nuclear power stations. pubs. Lighthouses. Beach. boats. prospect cottage. Home.

Erika, I'm sending you the ohrwurms. Enjoy.

More another day!

G

I've arrived at maison de mark. Anyone want a pot noodle?

G x x x

When I wake up, I know I'm gonna be, i'm gonna be a man who has to go to work....



Aaah, I never did like the bloody Proclaimers. Can't stand 'em. Identical twins from Scotland with NHS glasses, the spit of me, and.. well... him. Still a sore point. And now they are number one, I can't escape 'em...In fact the only time I ever liked 'em was when Down By Law covered 'em. In a punk rock stylee...

Work was the usual - a bit uneventful, occasionally having to tell people off, that sort of thing. I went to the local supermarket at lunchtime, mainly out of boredom. I worked over a little bit, then came home. I waited long - far too long - for the bus home. As soon as it hits six o'clock daytime service ends and then of course, nobody needs the bus any more regularly than every half an hour. A complete fallacy, that is., because surely the time you need to be most available is when the most people are using the buses - ie when people are going to and from work. Surely? Bloody idiotic timetable.

I came home, the sun was out. I walked through the park again. I cooked. Giles popped over, and I got my new toy - I took the plunge and got him to order me a 2gb Mp3 player for £20. That's my indulgence for the month over with, and something I will surely find very useful. Givne the amount of music I consumer, I once worked out the only way to keep it all portable and to hand was with a 1000gb iPod; or a bullet belkt of about 10 ipods, constantly switching between them. Now for most people a 40gb ipod would be more than enough; but for me, and the rate at which I devour music, it would probably not even cover the letters A and B. But go into Tesco's , and 2gb Mp3 player would cost you about £80 (Creative Zen), or £120 for the ipod equivalent. Or £20 - new - from ebuyer. Bargain, by comparison. Especially given the amount of useage I'll probably get out of it, which I reckon will be about 3 hours a day.

Then we went off to see Ghost Rider. Ghost Rider is daft as a box of spanners, but if you can swallow the rathe rludicrous premise, utterly enjoyable hokum. More Xmen3, with the ghost of David Goyer's "Blade:Trinity" writ large in it, but the premise itself is almost like a pisstake. Motorcycle stunt rider Johnny Blaze (a restrained Nic Cage) sells his soul to the devil in order to save his fathers life, only to discover that what the devil giveth, the devil will also take away. Indebted to the price of his very soul, the only way Johnny can release his debt and release his soul is to do the devils bidding by doing his dirty work on earth. The effects are abundantly over the top - Nic Cage as a skeleton on fire topped off with a screaming eyeless skull kicking mugger ass for example - and faintly tongue in cheek. very enjoyable, like a cross between Constantine and Christine, with humour. But no way - no way - it is a 12A.

And then off to Big Johns, a few text messages, a row caused by poorly worded, easily misinterpretable language and off to bed. And just a quick question - has the self hatred / self pity quotient gone down recently? I suppose that just reflects how I feel about life at the moment. I'm a little less woe is me, and that can only be a good thing.

But I do hate rowing with people. I really do. Especially when you tell them one thign and they misread it inot another which is absolutely not what you meant to say at all.

I'm off away for a couple of days. See ya soon. Enjoy easter,the holiday where we celebrate the resurrection of our eternal lord with chocolate rabbits. x x x

Tuesday - again, a day at work. Like most. Not quiet, but not eventful, which is the best sort of day at work in this job. Came home, checked email, went to supermarket and bought kitchen foil (ooh, exciting!), got the clippers out and trimmed the bit of my hair I didn't get right last time. Cooked, and watched a DVD or two.

I spent some £6 on DVD's at lunch - King Arthur Directors Cut (oooh, extra violence!), Monsters Inc double disc, and Head Of State.

I watched Head Of State - the latter of which I think is at least worth watching. A slightly scathing, political comedy about Chris Rock being picked out of nowhere as a token black presidential candidate. There's some great jokes in it, political satire, and its quite stereotypical tokenist for a bit in its portrayal of black culture, but still bloody funny in places. If you like Chris Rock , (and thats the Chris Rock of Dogma, not the utterly crap Rush hour), its well worth watching.

I do like Chris Rock a lot though. However, it is very..... American. Which is why it never, ever, made it to cinema's in the UK, but went straight to DVD following a poorly advertised press campaign that went nowhere. Which is a shame, because for all its parochialism, there's a satire of American politics slash black culture thats maybe just a bit too regional America for us englanders, some of the comedy a bit too slapstick, the jokes a little bit too scattershot, but overall.... interesting, and recommended.

Very well cast too - Bernie Mac steals the entire movie - and interesting, Chris Rock doesn't shy away from using some fo the speeches to espouse a political worldview not too far from my own. Though, sometimes he does a bit too much of his own material for no dramatic reason that feels shoehorned in - but Hell, I'd vote for him. Given the choice between this and any other slew of generic American teen comedies about people whose clothes fall off in public whenever policemen are around, Head Of State wins every time. Comedy with brains, thats what it is. (And its got a joke about Hammer thats damn fine too. in amongst lots of other tiny jokes...).

I had a text from Scottish girl, about the phone call; "Thanks for being there. None of my friends here would have understood". . But i do. Its because of that man that she and I met, you know. So, yes, I do understand. Sometimes there's things you can't share with everybody, but all it takes is one person to understand. Sometimes thats all you need.

By the way, you may notice that every blog post right now seems to end with a picture. There's a reason for this: since I've changed the template and fiddled around with the sizes, (and also discarded the previous, adapted, custom template without retaining the HTML code like a dufus), the best way to make the differentation between posts is to mark it visually. So hence the use of pictures.


Anyway, I'm tired. I want to write about something, but not tonight. Anyways, its late, so Im off.

Stolen From the others




1. Has having a child changed the way you think about the environment and the future of the planet?
Yes. I'm reminded of the phone call from Scottish Girl last night, where she said she had no dependents - nothing to concern herself about her future except herself. On the other hand, right now, I'm scared about the future. I might not care that much about my own future, but her future, it means everything. I want to make the world a better place for her, because I have a responsibility to try to make it a world worth living in for her. But I'm only one single man and all I can is tiny steps....starting with not leaving the lights on when I'm out.

2. Is there anything you regret or wished you had done differently?
Yes. As outlined in a previous post. Too many things its too late to change, just enough to drag me down and drag me around. But you know, all I am is the amalgamation of the experiences that have happened up til now - and without those experiences, I wouldn't be me.

3. What's it *really* like being an identical twin?
You remember the Cannonball Run? Its like that. At any moment, Him ('Him!') might appear to save the day, get me into trouble, or just cause mayhem. I've had many conversations with people as him, by the way. Though often some 30 seconds in, i have to explain exactly who I'm not. (him!). Abd yes, I'm sorry about writing 'mark did this' on the way and getting you into trouble, bro. On the other hand, being below the age of criminal culpability at the time, I'm beyond prosecutability, and feel pretty safe admitting to that.



4. What is the best live band you have ever seen?
Oh, lord. Out of the hundreds - Pop Will Eat Itself, Middlesbrough 1992. Lifechanging. After that, in no particular order - Sisters Of Mercy, New Order, Hiphoprisy, Kraftwerk....

5. Do you think you have too many CDs?
You can never have too many CD's. I just have too little space to store them. As I say - whether you have too much of something is directly related to the space available to store them. If i had another spare room in the place just to keep them in, then it would be great.


1. Do you have a long-term life plan? If so, what is it? If not, why not?
No. No long-term life plan. Life never, ever runs to plan; and only change is permanent. If I had a plan, It would never ever run to that plan, as real life has this nasty habit of derailing such plans.So my plan is - Life is a journey, lets just see what happens. Let it surprise, take you where it will, then look back and think to yourself, "Yep, that was Ok". If you make plans, and you'll end up bitter, disappointed and kicking yourself for what you didn't ever do. Concentrate on what you did do, because its not the ninety nine no's that count - Its the one yes that matters. The one yes.

2. How many times have you either fallen in love or thought so?
Fallen in love? Too many times have I had directionless, aimless, object of affection love - but love with someone I've known, someone who I wanted to be with and wanted to be with me; I would say three or four times. Sure, I've said "I love you" to people I loved, but people I didn't love in the romantic way. Love isn't just a word - its a commitment. Its a promise. Its binding. And just because someone loves you, it doesn't mean you have to love them back.

3. An attractive stranger comes up to you out of the blue and tells you that you're absolutely beautiful, smiles, then turns round and starts to walk away - what do you do next?
Wake up out of that dream. But if it really happened, I'd be expecting for some practical joke to be played - someone just having fun at my expense. What I'd do is find some common ground, and just use that to build into a conversation. Could be anything. Just be observant. Pay attention to what they are doing, pay attention to the small details, and turn it into a point of conversation. From them small acorns, Big oak trees may yet grow.

4. What one thing would you most like to do for someone else, given the resources to do it?
Given enough money, I'd buy all my friends houses. And let them live nearby, so I could see them more often.

5. What is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever done to you?
Taken that love away, that love upon which you depend, that love you take for granted that makes all the day to day grind worthwhile. And in doing so, left me without a home, without anywhere to sleep. A life from which I've had to rebuild myself from scratch. Whether I've done so successfully or not, I'll let you decide...