stolen from.... Too fat to fly (as found via some aimless wilfing)

Here goes:

1. You wake up in the morning. What time is it probably?
About eightish. This will shortly change, with the change of office, to a time in the morning I often refer to as 'stupid o'clock' (also known as 'too frakking early'

2. You get yourself some breakfast. What do you make?
Bacon Sandwich - three rashers of bacon, plain white bread, no sauce. Serve hot.

3. Someone calls you on the phone. Who do you want it to be?
Hello, this is StayRubbish windows. Have you considered buying a conservatory?

4. You turn on the TV for a bit. What channel do you put it on?
I don't have a TV. Waste of my bleeding time.

5. You have some time to kill before you leave. What do you do?
Leave early - you never can trust buses.


6. You go and have a shower. How long does it take you?
I don't shower. I bathe. I sit in a puddle of my own filth and detritus. For hours. And there's nothing like a nice long bath. its lovely.

7. You decide to get yourself ready for your day. How long does it take?
Somewhere between 5 and 7 minutes. I can dress myself, after all, and wash.


8. You put on some makeup. What do you put on?
You're kidding - I don't go to work as a 80's glam rocker do i? Closest I ever get to to make up is once going to the rocky horror as janet.


9. You’re ready to leave. What do you take out with you?
Me, myself and i. Wallet, keys, phone, shoulder bag, a goo dbook, notepad, assorted stationary. A man can never have enough stationary.


10. How long does it take you to get to work?
Thats a moot point. From the moment I arrive at the bus stop to walking through the door, its 23 minutes at present. I'm starting a different job shortly, and that means its highly likely to top an hour. a goddamn hour, though narrow, windy streets full of congested traffic. The worst thing is, its to do just ethe exact same job I already do, only at an office some three times the distance away.

11. What is the first thing you do when you get to work?
Walk to my desk, stick on the PC.


12. Do you take part in office gossip/water cooler talk?Not really. But I am keenly aware of what gopes on in the office, of the patterns of behaviour in the office, as an observer. Keep your mouth shut and your ears open, and you learn much more than the other way around.

13. Anything particularly annoying about each work day?
Only the nature of it.And how powerless you are sometimes. Given the job I do, Its difficult sometimes to do that job properly without coming across as tightening the thumbscrews.

14. What’s the best part of the day?Those first five minutes at home, when you get to sit down.

15. Do you usually leave on time or stay late? Take any work home with you?I usually stay a little late.A mans work is never done.

16. The boss calls to tell you that don’t have to work, and you’re free for a whole day. What do you do?Sleep. Blessed, glorious, sleep. Always short lived, as morning always comes too soon.

17. With whom would you want to spend the day?
*blush* they know who they are.

18. You go to the store to get some snackage, but it turns out you can only buy one thing there. What do you buy?
oh lord. Just the one thing? Depends on the mood.Possibly a Chicken and Bacon sandwich.

19. You’re walking down the street and you find a magic lamp that grants you 3 wishes. What do you wish for?
Oh, this is a question that must be answered the style of a beauty queen. or Bono. Not thats there's much difference, but here you go. 1. World Peace 2. An end to poverty and hunger 3. Perfect Teeth. (Have you see Bono's teeth? they didn't look that way back in 1979...)

20. You meet a man who says he will give you your dream job, what is it?Professional dreamer.Rock Star. Writer. Film Director.

21. You can choose any concert of any singer/band in the world; whose do you go to?.Gotta be a band I have never seen and will never be able to see again. So...Pink Floyd *, or Nirvana.

22. You get home and there’s a check for $50,000 in the mail for you. On what would you spend it?My debts. And i would see if I could buy a cheap house.

23. You get to bring back anyone from the dead, famous or not. Who would it be?Hello mum. There's an awful lot to tell you.

24. You get to interview your favorite celebrity. Who is it, and what would you ask him/her?Dear kate Moss - why do you waste your time on all those other men, when you could keep me in the style to which I deserve? (I don't actually like Kate Moss, but I'm a gold digger.)

25. You get to see into the future but you can only find out one thing about your future life. What would you want to find out?Unlike the cyclops in krull , I don't want to know how I die. So instead, I'd like to know how much my final salary is. From that, i can play so much backwards.

26. At the end of your perfect day, you go on a perfect date; describe it.
Well...I couldn't. I'm too busy being bonked to death by the person in question 24.(Like a succubbus). As if that'll ever happen...


*Technically, I have seen Pink Floyd - but i don't count the 23 minute live8 performance watched from about a mile away in a muddy park looking at dots on a stage as a concert in its own right, though.